The Lies

“I am never going to run.”

I’m pretty sure those words came out of my mouth at some point in the past. And I meant them as well, I promise you. I’ve always been an eater, and therefore in turn, an exerciser. For many years, I have beasted myself on an exercise bike and diced with arse blisters, just so that I could face plant a sticky toffee pudding when the need arose (FYI it arises frequently). I am a very greedy person, and I love my food and I bitterly resent being someone who has to control what they eat because they are a fattie.

However with friends starting to get the running bug and quite rightly brag about it on social media, I started to become curious about this strange hobby that sees people choosing to run in the pouring rain. The final nail in the coffin for this non runner was daring to lock our toilet door so that I could have a poo in peace (read: facebook catch up) when the lock was picked from the other side and my son burst in demanding why I had locked him out, and what was I doing.

And that was the moment.

The moment that I discovered that I never would get any peace and quiet in my own house. If I wanted any me time, I was going to have to find it elsewhere. I decided to have a bash at the C25K app and once I had staggered around the park a few times, my competitive nature had kicked in and I vowed that if I was going to run, I was going to do it properly and beat my own times.

“I’m not going to do any silly distances.”

Yep, I said this too, to my mum (Hi mum! Sorry about the swearing). And at the time I really meant it too. But then a friend ran a half marathon and I figured that if she could do it, then I could, and once I had done it the time wasn’t satisfactory, and you get the idea.

run pic
Lies. All lies.

“If I ever do a marathon, which I won’t, I would do it for charity.”

And so here we are. Of course the marathon itch started to itch, and after a few drinks one evening last year in my build up to the Christmas drinking sessions (September, I think) it seemed like a great idea to sign up for one. Picked for logistical convenience rather than anything else, I am aiming to run the Stratford Marathon on 13th May. The charity that I will be fundraising for is Crohns and Colitis UK. My husband, Guy, has Crohns disease, and I’m hoping that I can raise a few pennies for them. I will start the begging once I’ve sorted out a Just Giving page but I’m hopeful that by sharing all the pain and agony with you, you might feel sorry enough for me to donate a pound or two.

So that’s it, that’s the boring introduction out of the way. Hopefully the next blog will be a little more exciting, so stick with me if you can bear it.

Just to warn you, I am an over sharer although I suspect you had worked that out by arse blisters.

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